Forget The World of Gourmet Cheese: France's Potato Chips Are Utterly Sinful.
This past Christmas, I found myself in France, a place that seemed displaying impeccable manners. Elegant, shimmering illuminations, market stalls stacked with beautifully vibrant fruits and veggies, and enough cheeses capable of clogging the entire Channel Tunnel with dairy fat. Overflowing trays of lustrous seafood resting on ice visible behind steamy café panes. While observing a lengthy yet well-mannered queue of stylish locals collecting their artisanal *Bûche de Noël*, I felt a traitorous thought, that my native city, York, which turns into a present-day version of a scene of decadence over the holidays with e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and ready-to-drink concoctions, would do well to absorb some pointers.
The Sophisticated Front
But every bit of “art de vivre” affectation is just an elegant facade – The country succumbs just as easily to its lowest desires like any other place. Simply step inside a local *supermarché* and the truth is revealed. The crisp aisle constitutes a temple of indulgence, lined with flavours including *bleu d'Auvergne*, spiced bean patty, beer-braised beef and *beurre salé* tastes. Who in their right mind tries chips that taste of butter? It brings to mind a product found at one of those American fairs where they deep fry sticks of butter. A certain comedian stated online they are the ultimate chip she’s ever tasted, however she has undoubtedly succumbed to an instance of Breton brainwashing – after all, her childhood was in *Bretagne*.
International Unregulation
It is widely understood the world of potato chip seasoning internationally operates with as few rules as Silicon Valley. There is a refusal to allow the humble spud to shine on its own, adorned only rightly by a simple, respectful sprinkle of sodium. The UK boasts a checkered past with crisp flavours across Britain, particularly during the festive period. Not long ago, let us not forget, bestowed upon us Christmas-cake flavoured crisps and special-release pastry-and-meat potato snacks. And who could forget that time a well-known shop believed “festive fizz and berries” made for a good idea on a potato chip? But I thought better of the land of Escoffier.
What next? Goose liver potato chips? Cream puff crisps? Tobacco-flavoured chips? I must cease, before I accidentally suggest the next big thing.
